I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
