I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
