i think my tv is drunk
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
