i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
did you just send me my own nude
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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