Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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