I wish I only lived at night.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
