Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
