Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize