Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize