Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
