I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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