Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize