just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
