Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
