can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
