She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i out mim tonsoeep
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