Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
