he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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