He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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