Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
