I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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