Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
