better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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