I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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