i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
