Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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