Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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