he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
