ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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