Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
