I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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