i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
