Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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