I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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