Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize