He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
