my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
