We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
