Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
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