I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
my liver is dry heaving
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
