I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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