you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
