I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
