Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
