Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize