Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
