I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
