the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
