What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
