It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize