who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
