So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
