Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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