champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
