She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
