New low: just hacked my moms facebook
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
