you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
