Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
