i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize