Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
...so i touched it.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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