My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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