Your mouth is God's brothel.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
