she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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