I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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