I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
