what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
