ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
