id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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