i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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