Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
