You're so nebulous sometimes
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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