I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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